Tag: Rejecting Truth

The Rapture of Fear

The Bitter Belly13 Comments

“If there is only one person that makes it into the rapture, you believe you will be that one.”

I sat with wide eyes as a child listening to that statement.  I squirmed in my chair looking around to count all the spiritual people that would make it before me.  How could the minister not make it?  His wife certainly would have to, and surely the song leader and the deacon.  It was going to be such a small number, how would there ever be enough room for me?

Nightmares of coming home to an empty house with no mommy or daddy met me night after night.  Vivid images of hideous beasts and demons haunted me.  The sermons of concentration camps and the terrors of the tribulation made their way into my little thoughts as I drifted off to sleep.

Tribulation.  Hell on earth.  The bride was to be such a small number.  Brother Branham always seemed to emphasize the number eight, just like Noah’s ark.  I began to count again: Brother Billy Paul, Brother Joseph, Brother Billy’s wife, Brother Joseph’s wife, their kids… I ran out of fingers.  Confused, I wondered just how many would be in the rapture.  Surely all of Brother Branham’s family, after all he said anyone who loved him would be there.  I began to reason that perhaps because they were family, I didn’t have to count them.  I started over: Brother Byskal, Brother Green, Brother Reagan, my pastor, the song leader… I ran out of fingers again.

I thought about Brother Branham’s horse and his green chair.  His dog was there.  Surely, just surely I could go too.  Night after night the nightmares came finally sending me crying to my parent’s room where my dad led me to the Lord at the very tender age of six.  I didn’t want to miss it.  I didn’t want my mommy and my daddy to leave me behind.

This was the beginning of fear.  Once I voiced this fear aloud and was told that the fear of the Lord was the beginning of wisdom.  This taught me that fear was okay.  It was normal to be afraid.  My nightmares followed me to into my adult life.  They changed from coming home to an empty house with no family, to my children being taken away from me and me being placed in a prison for not denying my faith.  I would wake up scared, everything was so vivid and real, often I rose to check on my babies and pause to listen to their steady breathing.  They were so peaceful and so unaware, just as it should be.

The Bible tells us “Do not fear” and “Do not be afraid” at least 365 times.

As a child I was taught demons were real, when someone was prayed for you were to bow your head so the demon did not jump on you.  I was told about the mark of the beast, the great tribulation, and the many imagined things that it would bring.  No food, prison camps, torture, be-headings, giant bugs eating women who cut their hair, numerous details I really don’t care to remember.  I was taught fear.

With this fear was the act of conforming and obedience to all that was said to be right.  You wanted to do what was right, what did the prophet say about that?  Quotes; they were beloved, spoken like scripture, recited, and ingrained in your mind from childhood.

“If there’s just going to go, be one, that’ll be me (Amen.), ’cause I believe.” See? That’s the way you want to believe it. “Be me.” 63-0320

Yes indeed, if there was only going to be one, you believe you will be that one. How?  How could you possibly make it with all of these spiritual ministers and people around you?  There wasn’t enough room; the number was just too small.  Doubt always lingered, and the plans of survival set in.  As a small child I kept a backpack in my closet with plans of escape. Looking back on that, it makes me sad.  No child should have to live in that fear.

There was always a statement that I held onto:

Just then, a voice spoke and said, “All that you ever loved, and all that ever loved you, God has given to you. We’re all here together.” Oh, my, my heart just melted within me. “All that you ever loved, and all that ever loved you, is gathered here with you to meet God.” 60-0608

That’s it? I just have to love Brother Branham and I’ll be there?  I love Brother Branham, I can do that.  I think perhaps this is the beginning of my veil between me and Christ.  I can remember prayers where I said something like, “Lord I believe, your prophet Brother Branham said…”  Why on this earth would God send His only Son to die in our stead to be the ONLY mediator between God and man for us to be sent a “prophet” to take his words and rely upon them above Jesus’? As though Jesus was not enough?

The elitism, the attitude that I was special; I was “one of them”…. I had a prophet.  How privileged I was to be called to the message, to know God sent a prophet in my day.  After all, it wasn’t for everyone, but it was for me.  This attempted to silence my doubts.

“If only one makes it, you believe you will be that one.”

I thought of all the people I would leave behind.  I was told not to worry about that, that it was just to build my faith.

Reflecting on these teachings from my childhood, I hesitate to share them.  I don’t want to hurt my parents or the people I grew up with.  I don’t think these are thoughts they intended me to have.  I honestly don’t think they even knew I had them.  I think had they known, they would have reassured me and done everything they could to relieve me of those fears.  If you can take anything away from me sharing this portion, perhaps you can relate, perhaps you cannot, but can you ask yourself, “What did the children grow up hearing?”  Children are so impressionable, what are they hearing?

Brother Branham said Noah was supposedly a ‘type’ of the bride that went in the ark.  In another ‘type’ Enoch was the bride and Noah and his family went through the tribulation.  This never made sense to me.  In my study, I’ve thought about Noah preaching to the people telling them what was coming.  They didn’t believe him.  They ignored him.  Many probably thought he was crazy and steered clear of even crossing paths with him.  I thought about Noah and his family walking into the ark and looking outside one last time to invite the people to come in.  Perhaps his sons pulled at his sleeve and said, “It will be okay Dad, just come in and sit down.” Noah didn’t shut the door.  I don’t think he could have.  Not because it was heavy or cumbersome, I think as he looked out on his family, friends, and neighbors, the people he had known all his life, grew up with, went to school with, worked with them, he knew them… how could he close the door on them?  Do you think that perhaps just maybe he wanted to drag them in by the hair of their head, bind them, and gag them until it was all over?

Or do you see him clinking glasses with Ham, Shem, and Japheth; “It was for us, it wasn’t for them anyway. Look! There goes another one!”

I imagine after the door shut they sat in silence with tears streaming down their faces listening to the cries of the people being washed away.  They sat there helpless.  Mothers with babies were washed away, small children, their family.  You realize Noah had in-laws.  His son’s wives had family. They left people behind.  They went into the ark full well knowing they would never see them again.

“If there is only one…”

I can’t help but see children running around in a circle playing musical chairs.  Too many children and not enough chairs.  The music keeps playing and the children eye the chair.  They are not about to give up that chair.  I’ve decided to walk away before the music stops playing.  More than I want the chair, more than I want the prize at the end, I want someone else to have the chair.  I want someone else to have the prize.

As I walked away the fear that had haunted me my entire life evaporated.  I no longer wanted to “escape”.  If there is a rapture, and I could offer my place to someone else, I would.  If there is a rapture, whether I go or stay no longer matters.

The “bride” so full of faith and the word was to leave the weak to die for their own testimony.  This baffles me. The word says there is just ONE body.  If the “bride” leaves how can the body be divided?  Will we take the hand and leave the foot?  Or are we actually saying those who aren’t bride aren’t His at all?

Further, if there is one way to heaven and that is through the blood of Jesus, why do these people need to seal their testimony with their own blood?  The ‘Book of the Revelation of Jesus Christ’ clearly says they were washed in the blood of the Lamb and given white robes.

No, I don’t understand this.  I don’t understand how I can leave one of His behind to fight just when the battle gets worse.  I can’t. I will be with them, I will encourage them.  I will tell them they are not alone, they are loved, and that He loves them.  We will fight unto the end together.  But I will not wait until the end to do so, I will tell them now.

The fear has left. In its place is a love I have never felt before; a love for all people and all creation.  I no longer see myself separate and apart from them.  No longer do I wish to be taken away from it all.  I feel like Abraham, “If there be one more Lord?  Can I help just one more?”

Every kindred. Every tongue. Every Nation.  His creation. His people.  Who are we to divide and say “It wasn’t for you.”

God said it was.

The rapture of fear has taken place. Do not fear.  Do not be afraid.  He is our rock, He is our portion, and He is our strength, our hope, our refuge.  He is everything.

“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, what can stand against us?”  -Romans 8:31

“Don’t call everything a conspiracy, like they do, and don’t live in dread of what frightens them.” – Isaiah 8

Isaiah 43
But now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you.
O Israel, the one who formed you says,
“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

A Light Unto My Path

The Bitter Belly3 Comments

Reading about all of the discrepancies in the message on the internet, caused me to contemplate what I believed.  I was raised in the message, so most of my beliefs were a result from acts of obedience and trust rather than true Biblical study.  I never had a reason to question whether it was correct or not.

I started with what I felt was the most basic of principals and worked my way through.

  1.  Why do we believe in an “Elijah Ministry?”
  2.  What is a prophet?
  3.  How do you know a prophet is a prophet?

By the time I arrived at my third question, I was completely shaken.  A flood of human emotions threatened to overtake me.  A line had been drawn between sides and I had to choose which way to cross.

Fear of “rejecting the word for my day” loomed over me taunting, “You’ll be lost, you’ll go to hell.  You are rejecting truth and will walk in spiritual blindness.  You just need more revelation.”

“For we are God’s fellow workers. You are God’s field, God’s building.  According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it. For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw— each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.”  – 1 Corinthians 3

When God gives an answer, it will line right up with the Word.  He writes His word in your heart and His answer will drive out all of your fear and the clouds of confusion will vanish.  God’s answer not only brings peace, but also the necessary boldness to walk in the light He gave.  

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.”

I would like to tell you I am the same person I once was, I just believe differently now.  But that isn’t true.  Old things have passed away, and I will never be the same again.

“The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

 My next few posts will follow the questions I asked.  I will share the scriptures that brought my peace and drove my fear and confusion away.  His word is Truth and in it is Life, that Life is Light, and the Light pushes the darkness away.  Peace, Courage, Hope, and Understanding be to you.

Psalm 119

Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the LORD!

Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart, who also do no wrong, but walk in his ways!

You have commanded your precepts to be kept diligently.  Oh that my ways may be steadfast in keeping your statutes!

Then I shall not be put to shame, having my eyes fixed on all your commandments. I will praise you with an upright heart, when I learn your righteous rules. I will keep your statutes; do not utterly forsake me!

How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.

With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

Blessed are you, O LORD; teach me your statutes! With my lips I declare all the rules of your mouth. In the way of your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches.
I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways.

I will delight in your statutes; I will not forget your word.

Female Created

The Bitter Belly19 Comments

“As in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.” 1 Corinthians 14:34

It would seem to most message believers that if you are a male you are automatically endowed with more spiritual understanding and knowledge of the word than a female.  

Women belong in the kitchen, they are to be silent in church, wash their husband’s clothing, cook his meals, and submit in all areas.  Message believers are taught that women are so low and beneath men, they are not even part of creation. 

Look, a woman is not even so low… She’s not even a creation in God. She’s a by-product. After God made the whole creation He took a piece off of a man and made a woman. She wasn’t even considered in the original creation. Correctly. She become a helpmate to man. And through there she’s supposed to live for that.

When a woman gets out of the kitchen she’s out of her place. Whether she’s preaching the Gospel or whatever she’s doing, she’s out of her place. Man was not made for woman, but woman was made for man. Man is not a by-product of a woman, but the woman is a by-product of the man. -WMB 560715

by-product
noun
1. a secondary or incidental product, as in a process of manufacture.
2. the result of another action, often unforeseen or unintended.

You’d never look at a woman going down the street and tell what’s in her heart. See? But I wanted to say these things so that you could see why that Satan is her designer. That’s exactly right, his own son proved it, Cain. Now, she is beautiful so she can deceive.  –WMB 650221

We’s all condemned through Eve through hybreeding. That’s exactly right. All of us come to that spot through Eve. Eve caused the whole human race to fall. Her and Adam are one. She… It started with the woman. It’ll end with a woman  -WMB 601113

He would blast and condemn every bobbed-haired woman. How could he do anything else? He’s a prophet. And that’s the Word. He’d say, “You, Jezebels!” He’d get rough with them. Why? He’s a prophet. He’d have to stay with the Word. That’s right. You think they would stop? No, sir. They’d say, “It’s a fanatic. He’s as bad as that old Paul was, in the Bible, woman-hater.”  -WMB 620513

“Brother Branham, why don’t you leave them women alone?” He said, “You know, people regard you as a prophet? Why don’t you teach them high spiritual things?” That man may be setting present. If it is, I want you to get this, brother. “Why don’t you teach them high spiritual things, where you climb, and let them climb there; instead of telling them about not cutting their hair, and the kind of dresses to wear?”
If you’re here, or hear the tape, brother. If I can’t get them out of kindergarten, how am I going to teach them algebra? They haven’t got the decency and morally–morality about them, to even let their hair grow out, and wear dress like ladies, how you going to teach them spiritual things? See? Now he… Don’t know the first, don’t know abc’s. And try to teach them something high, give them a college education, when they don’t know abc’s? Let learn abc’s first, and then we’ll–we’ll go on to that. -WMB 621210

These words have caused so much hurt, confusion, and oppression.  I do not feel these views can be supported by scripture.  They have done much damage and continue to do so.  God did see fit to create the woman.  He designed her, He gave her life, and He had a plan for her.  God loved his creation so much, that when they fell, He sent his only begotten Son into the world to redeem them.  The Gospel tells us that we are to go into all the world and preach the Good News unto every creature,  ALL of creation.  Woman was not only a part of this beautiful creation, she is also redeemed by the blood shed on Calvary.

She stands before Christ perfect and beautiful in His sight in her rightful place.  Paul told us, “There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” -Genesis 1

The woman is not happenstance.  God the Creator, the author of life is her Creator.  Psalm 139 reads,

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

It was always emphasized that the woman’s head was the man.  Without further context, you have an incomplete understanding.

But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.  

But among the Lord’s people, women are not independent of men, and men are not independent of women. For although the first woman came from man, every other man was born from a woman, and everything comes from God.  – 1 Corinthians 11

Women are indeed under the headship of the man, however, remember in the beginning God said “it is not good for man to be alone, I will make him a helper suitable for him.”  She is his helper and his companion.  Proverbs 31 speaks so beautifully of the woman God created and called her to be,

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies.
Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
She is like a merchant’s ship,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.
She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
she is energetic and strong,
a hard worker.
She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
her lamp burns late into the night.
Her hands are busy spinning thread,
her fingers twisting fiber.
She extends a helping hand to the poor
and opens her arms to the needy.
She has no fear of winter for her household,
for everyone has warm clothes.
She makes her own bedspreads.
She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
Her husband is well known at the city gates,
where he sits with the other civic leaders.
She makes belted linen garments
and sashes to sell to the merchants.
She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.
She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness.
Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:
“There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.
Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

There are many examples in the Bible of God using women in various roles.  In the book of Acts when they entered in the upper room, there were both men and women praying together.  “These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren.”  The men did not go up and leave the women behind, nor did the men pray while the women sat silent in a corner.  They were of one accord.  Mary Magdalene was the first to witness Christ’s Resurrection.  Mary had been possessed with 7 devils.  A regular “Jezebel” in her day.  Mary walked with Christ, she sat with him and ate with Him.  Mary, a woman!

Now when Jesus was risen early the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had cast seven devils.  And she went and told them that had been with him, as they mourned and wept.  – Mark 16:9

Example after example is given of women not only used of God, but favored of God.  Mary, mother of Jesus, favored of God.  Contrary to message teaching, Mary wasn’t an incubator, Mary conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit.  How beautiful.

And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!  – Luke 1

And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.”  -Luke 1

“Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit.  -Matthew 1:20

Mary was blessed among women, and there are  many, many others that served the Lord their God and honored Him with their lives in various roles and offices.  Miriam danced with her tambourine, Deborah Judged, Phoebe was a deacon in the church, and Rahab the harlot saved her whole house.  I think one of my favorites is the courage of Jael.

Then Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a tambourine in her hand, and all the women went out after her with tambourines and dancing.  -Exodus 15:20

Now Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lappidoth, was judging Israel at that time.  -Judges 4:4

I commend to you our sister Phoebe, who is a deacon in the church in Cenchrea.  -Romans 16:11

When Priscilla and Aquila heard him preaching boldly in the synagogue, they took him aside and explained the way of God even more accurately.  -Acts 18:26

But when Sisera fell asleep from exhaustion, Jael quietly crept up to him with a hammer and tent peg in her hand. Then she drove the tent peg through his temple and into the ground, and so he died.  -Judges 4:21

Mordecai sent this reply to Esther: “Don’t think for a moment that because you’re in the palace you will escape when all other Jews are killed. If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?” – Esther 4

David replied to Abigail, “Praise the LORD, the God of Israel, who has sent you to meet me today! Thank God for your good sense!  – 1 Samuel 25

And the city and all that is within it shall be devoted to the LORD for destruction. Only Rahab the prostitute and all who are with her in her house shall live, because she hid the messengers whom we sent.  -Joshua 6:17

And there was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher.  -Luke 2:36

Now there was in Joppa a disciple named Tabitha, which, translated, means Dorcas. She was full of good works and acts of charity.  – Acts 9:36

She has done what she could and has anointed my body for burial ahead of time. I tell you the truth, wherever the Good News is preached throughout the world, this woman’s deed will be remembered and discussed.”  -Mark 14:8

Be encouraged my sisters, you are loved and called of God. You are part of redemption and you are called unto Salvation.  Know Him, serve Him, and study His word.  God created you female, and through you the beauty of His creation does shine.  Consider Him in all your ways and praise Him through your works.  God made you beautiful and you are found in His word.  You are complete when you walk according to the calling He has chosen for you.  Inside of you is a part of Him and He will lead you and guide you in this calling.  Serve Him and know Him in Spirit and in Truth.

“A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.”

 

Seeking & Finding

The Bitter Belly3 Comments

Have you ever heard it said, “For every Bible question, there is a Bible answer”?  The Bible is my Absolute.  Anything I believe I can trace right back to the scriptures.   This was not always true.

I was once asked, “Is the Bible your Absolute?”

When I was presented with the challenge of taking my beliefs back to the scripture, I was shocked to learn most of what I had been taught was extra-biblical.  I was raised under the teachings of William Branham, known as “the message of the hour”.   Over the past year I have spent countless hours praying and studying, searching for truth.

Jesus said, “My sheep know my voice, and a stranger they will not follow.”  Separating true Biblical teaching from “special revelations” is one of the hardest tasks I have ever faced.  The more I read and studied, the more I realized how heavily indoctrinated I was.  

I cannot tell you the fear that haunted me.  I was so frightened I would be found rejecting “THE truth for my day”, afraid of being blind and not having enough revelation.

I held on to my teachings tightly.  As I compared them to scripture, they began to slip through my fingers like grains of sand.  In the end I was holding tight to thin air.

I now realize the greatest revelation is Salvation.  There is nothing greater than the redemption of God’s people through the blood of Jesus Christ.

I feel like I am climbing a mountain.  I have slipped and fallen along the way.  I have grown tired and weary.  There were days I climbed in darkness, days when rocks blocked my path. I am still climbing.

I am told the view is spectacular.

I thought I was climbing alone.  The path has cleared and I can see others climbing too.  They have helped me and encouraged me along the way.  I have seen the top of my mountain, I know there are others already there beckoning me to keep going.

There are some mountains God will move.  This was not one of them.  This mountain was to be climbed.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. “For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”  -Matthew 7:7

“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.  But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness.”  -2 Timothy 2:15

“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world”  – 1 John 4:1

“Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so.”  – Acts 17:11

“For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light.”  – Luke 8:17

“Teach me Your way, O LORD; I will walk in Your truth;”  -Psalm 86

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  – John 8:32

Do not be discouraged.  Do not be afraid to ask questions. God will honor your search for Truth.

I was once told there can be a little truth in a lie, but there can be no lie in the truth,  There can be a little light in the darkness, but there can be no darkness in light.

Jesus said,  “I am the TRUTH, the life and THE WAY.”